Morocco: And a tale of Grace

It's Thanksgiving in the US today, a day that we are called to reflect on all for which we are thankful.  So this Thanksgiving I wanted to share with you a story of grace for which I am especially grateful. 

There are a few things in this world that I am good at -- but, unfortunately, having babies is not one of them.  I am diabetic which makes things a little complicated. Often diabetics have to watch their pregnancies because their babies become enormous but in my case, I have had just the opposite problem.  And that was especially true when I fell pregnant with Skylar.  We were thrilled that I was pregnant (and many tears of happiness were shed when I found out that I was having a girl after having our magical boy).  But as the weeks went by, it became clear that Skylar wasn't really growing.  Or not the way she was supposed to, anyway.  In the first weeks of the pregnancy, our doctor kept reassuring us that things would be fine but soon thereafter she started to look worried.  When Skylar was only 3.5 pounds my doctor mused aloud whether labor should be induced "because maybe the baby would do better on the outside." 

To make matters even more stressful, Skylar's heart kept stopping - for a few beats at a time.  This meant that I had to go into the hospital virtually every day.  In those last weeks,  I would lie in the operating room with a fetal monitor strapped to me, just in case an emergency c-section was called for - just in case Skylar's heart stopped beating altogether.  The midwives would hover over me while I prayed silently to a God that I was not even sure that I believed in. 

My doctor put me on full bed rest.  I was running an office with numerous staff at the time and had no back up plan - more stress, more stress.   I spent my days in bed lying on my side and whispering to myself "grow little baby, please grow."  And miraculously, she did grow. But was it enough?  We wanted her to hit the magic 5 pound number.  But despite the growth spurt, the doctor stared at the ultrasound picture and tentatively estimated a pound less - 4 pounds.  At 4 pounds there could be complications.  Were we prepared?

I sobbed as they wheeled me into the operating room for delivery.  I couldn't have a natural birth because my pelvis is misshapen - not enough room through which to squeeze a baby's small body. As they prepared for the c-section, I felt a sense of foreboding that terrified me.  I was so certain that there was something wrong with the baby.  I felt weak.  I felt incapable.  I felt unprepared for what lay before me.  My blood pressure dropped suddenly, and the doctors had to wait until it was raised for the operation to begin.  The minutes ticked by.  My husband Chris never let go of my hand.  But I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face uncontrollably.  I was quietly hysterical.

Then it was all over.  My doctor held the baby in her hands and said two words that I had been waiting to hear, "She's big."  Skylar was a smidge over 5 pounds.  And she was perfect. I turned then to my husband and told him that I thought we should give Skylar the middle name Grace.  He blinked his eyes and agreed.

So it's Thanksgiving today, and it's also the day that we are throwing Skylar Grace's fifth birthday party this year.  Rather appropriate don't you think? 

And no matter the country in which you are reading this little blog, I want to reach out to you right now and wish for you and your family many, many blessings.  Because today I am giving thanks, and I hope you are, too.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Comments

[mipmup]

this is incredibly touching and made my eyes well up. thank *you* for sharing it. happy thanksgiving.

[Colin Choi]

I really appreciate your sincere regard for everyone in this thankgiving day. I enjoyed a lot at your blog which is very impressive and unique. When I am avaliable, I stop by and read and comment.

Thanks

[Mei]

What a lovely, lovely story. Thank you for sharing it. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

[Kalyn]

What a beautiful story. I loved reading it. Happy thanksgiving!

[decor8 Holly]

This is very touching and your daughter is a beautiful girl. What a nice post.

xo
Holly

[Liosliath]

When I saw Tristan in a prior post, I thought to myself, "That's the most beautiful child I've ever seen." Now I have to alter that a bit - since he has an equally amazing and lovely sister! Thanks for sharing your story with us - it's exceptionally well-written, and just perfect for this special day. All the best to you and your family today and EVERY day! :)

[nottellingu]

Thank you for such a nice story and my God bless you and your family today and everyday. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

[Andrea]

Blessings to you and yours. What beautiful children you have!

[julie at BV]

I love stories that are inspiring and full of hope. What is a life without faith & hope? My eyes watered up after reading your beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings & God bless you and all your family. :)

[Paul]

Your daughter is sublime, and what a moving story. We don't celebrate thanksgiving in Ireland, so its meaning never really registers with me (I'm a little bit slow you know), but now it certainly does. Still I'm feeling somewhat disturbed now, because your blog is becoming so addictive. Can you please start toning down the quality of your posts, so that I can wean myself off it gradually. I have very pressing matters to attend to you know!;-)

[maryeats]

From one expat, to another happy turkey day.

[Maryam in Marrakesh]

Dear Mipmup - Aw, Thank you so much and am enjoying your blog!

Colin-Appreciate your stopping by from Korea. And thank you for your very sweet email, too!

Mei-I hope that the house gave you a break this Thanksgiving. W both have a lot to feel blessed about this year - don't you think?

Kalyn-Given you are a chef, I bet you are spending a most delicious Thanksgiving!

Holly-As you know, YOU were the inspiration for this blog. So sweet of you to come by xoxo Can't wait to see the new goodies you have for us on your blog.

Liosliath - Shoukran. I am hoping that you get to meet those children very soon, okay? When's the next visit to Morocco?

Nottellingu- I wish I knew more about YOU. Did you know that Italy is my favorite country in the world?

Andrea - Thanks, thanks and thanks. I am blessed with my children. I so wanted to have a third but given the difficulties I have had, it's not advised. Oh well...I can't complain with these two.

Julie-My mom is surprised that I write things that are so personal on my blog. But what is life without connections with others? Thank you so much for coming by and hoping for blessings right back at you.

Paul - I have always wanted to see a picture of YOUR daughter ever since you posted that sweet black and white movie on your blog. Speaking of which, I think I need help getting weaned of your blog, too;-)

Maryeats- I am not sure about Thanksgiving celebrations where you are. But knowing who you are, I know you will be eating something delicious anyway!

[grasshopper]

Being pregnant may not be your forte, though you did manage, twice. The important and more difficult work--being a good mother--shows up in such great love: for your beautiful, fortunate children, and through your writing, for everyone else.

[Anrosh]

Life is a miracle in itself. Your great strides also mean immense joy. It was a graciously gratefull thanksgiving for us.

[Claire]

Beautiful post!!!

[Anna]

Reading your post brings back so many memories not to mention tears. How many heartaches we mothers will have to endure in the lifespan of our children... But how beautiful those are.

[TC]

The previous comments say it all - your daughter's cute and the story is definitely moving.

Hope you had a good Thanksgiving, TC x

[Mimi Lenox]

Maryam....This story brought tears to my eyes. She is a precious child with her mother's beautiful eyes. Wish her Happy Birthday from Mimi, please. Thank you for sharing your wonderful story with us. Blessings and peace to you....Mimi Lenox

[Maryam in Marrakech]

Grasshopper-Thank you for your kind words. I just stumbled on your blog recently and really appreciate the quality of your writing.

Anrosh-You are so right, as usual. Life is the world's most amazing miracle. So glad your Thanksgiving was a good one (and hope your dissertation is coming along).

Claire - Shoukran, shoukran;-)

Anna- Your love and encouragement through my pregnancy helped get me through so many stressful moments. I am blessed to have you as a best friend.

TC-Thanks and hope your Mom is doing okay.

Mimi-Thank you for all your sweet comments! I so love your peace globe initiative and your funny blogs!

[diane in gibraltar]

Joyeux anniversaire SKYLAR-GRACE
from JAMES

[Maryam in Marrakesh]

James- J'ai mange un grand gateau avec mes amis!
Bises,
Skylar

[Terri]

what a great and interesting blog you have here.
Your daughter is absolutely stunning. What a beautiful child and a true miracle for you.

[Brittney]

A little late to the party -- I've been otherwise occupied with a story writing binge and other offline activities -- but I just had to say...you must surely be the most blessed mother in the world, to have such beautiful, beautiful children, both of them with stars in their eyes and their hair made of light. Your giving of thanks is truly inspiring.

[Pat]

What a great post for Thanksgiving. You have a gorgeous daughter there! :-)

[Maryam in Marrakesh]

Terri-Thank you so much. Skylar is my little miracle!

Brittney- Listen, I was wondering if you and your husband would be willing to move into our house with us. Let me know, okay?:-)

Pat- Shoukran. Skylar has two little 5 year old boys in love with her. One Egyptian/Moroccan and the other Venezuelan/French. She is trying to decide which one to marry. Choices, choices...