Morocco: and secrets of the heart

I met my now-husband, Chris, when I was living in the land of the broken hearted. Perhaps you have lived in that bleak land yourself – the place where you awake feeling hopeless and fall asleep feeling hopeless.  Where your hours are consumed by thoughts of the person who has rendered you see-through and fragile. Where every song, every book passage holds tragic and poignant meaning. Where your head is filled with imaginary dialogues (polished to perfection) with your former love.   Where you weep.  And weep and weep.  Where you wonder, seriously, if you can ever love - like that - again. 

I had been banished to that dark place when Chris found me. 

He was a man of few words but numerous gestures.  On the outskirts of that cheerless land where I was living, Chris took me for walks in the woods and canoe rides on the river.  He taught me how to hit golf balls and how to catch fish. He packed me picnic baskets and picked me wildflowers.  And despite my very best attempts to send him away, he stayed and loved me even when I was incapable of loving him back.

Slowly, the deep fissures in my heart began to mend. The blood pumped, the skin flushed.  And when, on one unseasonably sunny day, Chris proposed a forever with him, only one response seemed possible.  I packed my bags, and without informing the gatekeeper of that joyless place I had called home, I left. 

So it’s Valentine’s Day.  And to my dear husband Chris, I offer not chocolates but thanks. For the one-way bus ticket that took me away from that sad and terrible place– the land with no sign posts and little hope.  I have never forgotten.

And to you, friendly reader and keeper of secrets, I wish a very happy day, with or without a valentine. 

Image by Jenny Holzer

Comments

[Magda]

Beautifully said.
Happy Valentine’s Day!

[Sarah]

That is beautiful! I have lived in that land myself. And of course, when I least expected it, I was found as well.

[Sally]

How very, very sweet! You sure are one lucky gal, as is your special Chris. Happy Valentine's Day Eve!

[simon]

that happened to me too!

[Marcos]

Chris is clearly a very lucky person and so are you by the sounds of it, and rightly so, because I think you deserve it. Have a great day tomorrow.

P.S.: I really want some of that olive oil (it's one of my favourite things)

[Intisar]

I hope your Valentine's Day is wonderful, Maryam!

xoxo

[Waspgoddess]

That's a very sweet tale... I hope you have a wonderful day (and thank you for your encouragement).

[Jill]

How lovely! Happy Valentine's Day Maryam!

[Sara]

The land of the broken hearted is indeed bleak. But your story gives hope. Thank you. And, of course, Happy Valentine's Day!

[lacithecat]

"Where your head is filled with imaginary dialogues (polished to perfection) with your former love"

Now what exactly do you think I have been just doing!

Sigh ...

What a mess

[susanna]

What a sweet story and a loving letter to your husband. Hope your Valentine's Day is full of hugs and kisses - and of course, chocolate!

[Ruzana]

That is so sweet.
Happy Valentine's Maryam!

ps:couldn't post a comment yesterday- I LOVE the new lair/gate house.No colour combo would stop me from coming ;)

[Gypsy Purple--Chamara]

How sweet...happy valentines to you too

Chamara

[Patricia W.]

Such lovely things to say!

Happy St. Valentine's Day!

[Regina Clare Jane]

Happy Valentines Day to you, too, sweetie! And to Chris!

[KG]

Happy Valentine's Day, to you and your whole family!

Yes, we've all been to that horrid place. Having spent time there makes having a wonderful love all that much more treasured. It is, indeed, a treasure.

P.S. My soulmate found me when I had given up, too.

[Lynda]

what a lovely poem to a wonderful man

[Vanessa]

I love to make myself the biggest and bestest Valentine treat. Then, anything else I receive is "gravy." I am my own favorite Valentine, even though, I have a pretty fabulous love in my life. He is not my true "Valentine." Why? Not becasue he lacks love or caring, he actually has more to share than anyone could hope for...It is becasue only I know what the girl inside me needs. A pedicure, a fab latte, and a huge giant Valentine cookie.(which I am posting next) And what I have for my lovee, yes you are correct, not chocolates, but thanks. For loving me and taking me down the sparkling tunnel of love...Good thoughts abound here with you sweet Maryam.

[Loula]

Maryam, Simply beautiful!
Mwah

[tongue in cheek]

What a lovely tribute to your Valentine!

Happy Valentine Maryam!

[Terra Shield]

What a lovely post! Happy Valentine's Day :)

[Rosie]

I love the way you write. I too have lived there and was lucky enough to leave. Happy Valentine's Day.

[Annie K]

Eish, Maryam, your post made me cry!

BTW eish is an Africanism pronounced aaaaaish - it's so expressive, I don't think there is another word like it, it means - um - let me see - ohmigosh-this-is-(amazing) (terrifying) (wonderful) (exciting) (sad) (happy) (astounding) - I am sure you get the picture.

Anyway, just wanted to say, your post is beautiful, I hope that this time next year, I will be able to deliver a post like that too.

Be well and be safe wherever you may be or go.

-Annie

[Concetta]

Ah, we are alike in so many ways! The amazing thing is that we always think that THIS time the heart will never heal. This time the break is permanent. But no, it never is. I'm so happy that you found your healer. I wish both of you many days and nights abundantly filled with love.
- Concetta

[محمد لشيب]

أخي الفاضل، السلام عليكم
أحييك على حركيتك ونشاطتك التدويني المميز
أدعوك وادعو كل زوار مدونتك الرائعة، وعموم المدونين إلى الإنخراط معنا في حملة يوم الأقصى الإلكتروني.
نريد أن نجعل من يوم الجمعة المقبل 16 فبراير 2007 يوما خاصا للتدوين عن القدس الشريف والأقصى المبارك ومعاناة اهلنا في فلسطين
نننتظر موافقتك الإنضمام معنا إلى الحملة، وكذا نشر هذا الخبر خاصة في مدونات جيران
أملنا أن يسهم الجميع في خلق حدث تدويني مميز، وشكرا لك وللجميع
مع تحيات محمد لشيب من المغرب
صاحب مدونة تقليب نظر
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