Did we know what we were getting ourselves into? No.
Did we know that it would take this long? No.
Did we realize that it would cost this much? No.
No, no, and no......Oh no.
This week I brought two groups of friends visiting from Brussels and Paris to our construction site . I was nervous -- these friends have lived in Morocco for long stretches as diplomats and journalists and they have seen plenty before. And our place is in such a state. But they managed to see past the piles of brick and sand, to see beyond the problematic (lack of) landscaping. and they said....(were they being kind?) that they thought that Peacock Pavilions was going to be very special. My friend Djana said that our second guest house was not a house - that it was a work of art. My friend, Robin, said that the staircases were like magic. My friend Giles cited a certain famous Marrakech guest house and said, this is better, more beautiful.
Sometimes when I am at the site, I can see it - I can see what it might become, and I let the goodness wash over me. Other times, I can only see how much there still is left to do.... I can only see the unfinished everything, the loose pavers, the rubble, the twisted steel. I can only see our lack of resources, our multiple bank loans. And I am engulfed by a feeling of sheer desperation and helplessness.
And I have finally come to terms with the fact that this Marrakech bed and breakfast of ours, our Peacock Pavilions, is not going to open this December. Despite our best intentions, despite our hopeful demeanor, despite our smiley enthusiasm. No, it's not to going to open then. Because you see, it is the little guest house that almost could. But not quite. And in the end, how much does that count?
